Castles and Walls

 I think for some of us the block comes very early in life !  The need to build defences comes as a natural response from the beginning of our consciousness here on earth for so many of us .I can remember as a very young child thinking to myself I'm going to have to fight to survive . Sadly with that lifestyle comes an automatic defence mechanism . We begin to learn the art of building castles , moats and walls !  We become professionals at construction to keep ourselves fromgetting hurt or abused ! All of us on a normal scale have this response to a degree , but so many others must improve these skills to be safe ! So this was me from the very beginning because of the life that was thrust upon me . To no fault of my own I lived in circumstances and environments that required me to constantly be on the defense and to survive ! So a fight became my first nature , my first response ! When a person learns this early on like childhood and not one thing or two things or even ten things , but living in constant situations and circumstances on a daily basis all your life. You live in fight mode , defence mode one hundred percent of the time !  So here we are full grown adults and everyone we meet is a potential hurt or let down , liar , or betrayal . Now those fortified walls we have around our lives and hearts keeps getting mortar reapplied . I speak of myself and so many other precious people ,I See and feel near me who we are liked walled cities walking around locked down and shut in .We built because we have to defend  , we had to feel that we were in some kind of control. So that maybe , just maybe the damage to the next pain we suffer want hurt so bad ! Truth is after all these years of keeping people at arm's length and pushing away deep relationships ,hurts and pain still came to me ! Now that I am halfway through my life I see I wasted a lot of precious time putting all that energy into safe guarding when in reality you can not keep the pain or hurt from coming . People ,whether family , friends , or acquaintances they will at some point betray and hurt you . Some things intentional or just human error they will come . So what is safe ? How do we keep our hearts ? The answer is that one relationship that defines them all .That connection that requires no test or trial . This is the bond of creator and creation .There is no lies , no obligation to be felt , no requirements and no hurt. Im talking about the walk in the cool of the day , the calling of our name in that unconditional tone. Never having to earn love . The correction and gentle reminder that we are worth more than all we have seen or suffered ! A daily reminder that we are not our sins , our mistakes or our weaknesses !This is that relationship between God and us . It sounds so big , so formal , but we as humans make it that way . We make it hard , impossible and unreachable . Our insane urge to control everything and everyone around us ! We finally found out the hard way what the  answer is ,yet we refuse to surrender to this our perfect and exact answer . He is the way , truth and light .That candle that walks into our scary dark and haunted mansions, shines a light to all our demons and shatters locks to the dungeons where all our pain is hidden . Speaking from my own scary dungeons that monsters reside in , letting him in is hard because I'm so used to trying to defeat them myself , when in reality all Im doing is keeping them cozy . The wonderful thing about this is that he is right there waiting. He is never further than the mention of his name . Just whisper , daily whisper to him and the relationship you've longed for is there . All you walled cities I see you , I feel you ! I know what it's like . Some may see you as mean , rude or cold but I can see your heart .You long to let go and feel safe , to take that chance and develop new relationships . I encourage you today to find that place , the quiet place and let him in . Let Jesus in .He simply wants to love you . He wants to show you all the ways you can grow , learn and change but his way not your own way . He is gentle and patient . He has a way of walking in the harshest of places and bringing peace . Surrender , yield and I promise for the first time you'll have rest. Then as you go through life he will keep you safe , protect you and lead you . He will be your refuge , your strong tower , and when things come he will fight for you . The wisdom he brings you'll then really see others and you'll see their pain .Through his eyes everything looks different and feels different . This is not an easy process because its all in the surrender and the yielding . It will take time but once you fully understand his intentions life becomes so much brighter .When you see that his love is unconditional and never ending . Once you consistently walk with him , talk with him things will get better , safer and you'll feel security you never felt before .The walls will begin to fall , the motes drained and locks destroyed forever .Don't worry dear ones you are not alone in this , for I too am still learning to yield and surrender . So when I see you, we know that together we are letting him sweetly tear down all that we built and in its place he will make something beautiful of us . 

Wounded

When an animal is wounded it bites , snarls and will not let you near it. We are somewhat similar to animals ! when we get hurt we do not want anyone near us . we are unkind and irritable. We often find a place to hide. We lash out to others around us who have nothing to do with why we are hurt ! Often times I have approached people and their response is harsh . Many times i have walked away and judged them wrongly . Well what is wrong with them ? Or they don't like me or What is their problem. When all that time i was so self absorbed I didn't see past the response or unkind words and look deeper and say “ Hey , maybe they are not feeling well or maybe they are going through something today !”There has been times in my own life that I have been suffering so much that I snapped or pulled away from others due to the fact that I had so much sorrow and pain I couldn't put the “good “ face on for that day !  So next time you go out look to others as you would have someone look to you ! Set aside judgments or hurt feelings and see that maybe just maybe they are having a bad day ! You never know what someone is suffering and you may never know ! Don't take things so personal ! And yes there are times when people are just mean, selfish and rude . But with those people still kill it with kindness ! If love doesn't move barriers then nothing else will ! You will most certainly come across people who just will not receive but still yet keep loving . Sometimes we must love from a distance that's ok ,love is felt even through the worst ! I have built walls in my own life that still are coming down but the ones that has fallen is due to unconditional love . God's love is shown through us , in words , deeds and our spirits ! let us check ourselves today and correct how we respond whether it be actions , words or attitudes . In the end love is always the answer.

True faces

We see everyday lives on social media ,  food , shopping , vacations and time spent with one another ! Yet we do not see the real picture of the lives we scroll through constantly everyday ! A smile here, a laugh there ! Underneath it all what really lies there ? What is stored on the drives of our hearts and minds? What lays heavy on the soul ?  The mother with the trouble past full of failures and mistakes , a father who lost his job and shame ways heavily on his shoulders ! The women with anxiety and depression who barely made it out of bed today ! The list goes on and on you watch the play of costumes , masks and shields daily when you scroll

l!  I sit here thinking what if pictures could really tell the true nature of our hearts  ? What if they revealed the darkness ? How would we scroll then ? How would we see these pictures ? Would there be judgment or ridicule ? The fact is you never know anything truly at first glance or by the cover all of us wear ! The way we can truly see someone is by looWe see everyday lives on social media ,  food , shopping , vacations and time king to ourselves , how great are we ? What's really going on underneath in our own hearts ? When you see yourself , i mean the true deep down heart of hearts , Then can you see others in a different light !  The young man who is prideful to you, is really covering for insecurities down deep inside ! What you see as pride he sees as confidence , he sees as a way to feel good about himself because somewhere down the road someone made him feel less or unworthy ! The girl who takes too many selfies is crying out for someone to notice her because at home maybe no one sees her ! The constant flow of posed pictures of clean , organized homes when really mom and dad are fighting in the background! The expensive new cars , wonderful vacations yet deep down when all is said and done they are not happier than you, they are just people like you and me with issues , sadness, and complicated situations ! They may hide behind things , places and split second perfect moments but in truth they are suffering with something to one degree or another!  So next time you scroll think , done judge, don't be envious , dont hate because they appear to have it all together or have more fun. We all have a behind the scenes going on ! Let us love one another , cheer on one another ! when things are not as they need to be or to much of this or too much of that remember they are coping with life just as much as you are ! We all have those days where we are just surviving ! The social media cover we wear is just glimpses ! See you and you will really see others ! No one can judge another without first condemning himself !

Happy scrolling everyone !