Castles and Walls

 I think for some of us the block comes very early in life !  The need to build defences comes as a natural response from the beginning of our consciousness here on earth for so many of us .I can remember as a very young child thinking to myself I'm going to have to fight to survive . Sadly with that lifestyle comes an automatic defence mechanism . We begin to learn the art of building castles , moats and walls !  We become professionals at construction to keep ourselves fromgetting hurt or abused ! All of us on a normal scale have this response to a degree , but so many others must improve these skills to be safe ! So this was me from the very beginning because of the life that was thrust upon me . To no fault of my own I lived in circumstances and environments that required me to constantly be on the defense and to survive ! So a fight became my first nature , my first response ! When a person learns this early on like childhood and not one thing or two things or even ten things , but living in constant situations and circumstances on a daily basis all your life. You live in fight mode , defence mode one hundred percent of the time !  So here we are full grown adults and everyone we meet is a potential hurt or let down , liar , or betrayal . Now those fortified walls we have around our lives and hearts keeps getting mortar reapplied . I speak of myself and so many other precious people ,I See and feel near me who we are liked walled cities walking around locked down and shut in .We built because we have to defend  , we had to feel that we were in some kind of control. So that maybe , just maybe the damage to the next pain we suffer want hurt so bad ! Truth is after all these years of keeping people at arm's length and pushing away deep relationships ,hurts and pain still came to me ! Now that I am halfway through my life I see I wasted a lot of precious time putting all that energy into safe guarding when in reality you can not keep the pain or hurt from coming . People ,whether family , friends , or acquaintances they will at some point betray and hurt you . Some things intentional or just human error they will come . So what is safe ? How do we keep our hearts ? The answer is that one relationship that defines them all .That connection that requires no test or trial . This is the bond of creator and creation .There is no lies , no obligation to be felt , no requirements and no hurt. Im talking about the walk in the cool of the day , the calling of our name in that unconditional tone. Never having to earn love . The correction and gentle reminder that we are worth more than all we have seen or suffered ! A daily reminder that we are not our sins , our mistakes or our weaknesses !This is that relationship between God and us . It sounds so big , so formal , but we as humans make it that way . We make it hard , impossible and unreachable . Our insane urge to control everything and everyone around us ! We finally found out the hard way what the  answer is ,yet we refuse to surrender to this our perfect and exact answer . He is the way , truth and light .That candle that walks into our scary dark and haunted mansions, shines a light to all our demons and shatters locks to the dungeons where all our pain is hidden . Speaking from my own scary dungeons that monsters reside in , letting him in is hard because I'm so used to trying to defeat them myself , when in reality all Im doing is keeping them cozy . The wonderful thing about this is that he is right there waiting. He is never further than the mention of his name . Just whisper , daily whisper to him and the relationship you've longed for is there . All you walled cities I see you , I feel you ! I know what it's like . Some may see you as mean , rude or cold but I can see your heart .You long to let go and feel safe , to take that chance and develop new relationships . I encourage you today to find that place , the quiet place and let him in . Let Jesus in .He simply wants to love you . He wants to show you all the ways you can grow , learn and change but his way not your own way . He is gentle and patient . He has a way of walking in the harshest of places and bringing peace . Surrender , yield and I promise for the first time you'll have rest. Then as you go through life he will keep you safe , protect you and lead you . He will be your refuge , your strong tower , and when things come he will fight for you . The wisdom he brings you'll then really see others and you'll see their pain .Through his eyes everything looks different and feels different . This is not an easy process because its all in the surrender and the yielding . It will take time but once you fully understand his intentions life becomes so much brighter .When you see that his love is unconditional and never ending . Once you consistently walk with him , talk with him things will get better , safer and you'll feel security you never felt before .The walls will begin to fall , the motes drained and locks destroyed forever .Don't worry dear ones you are not alone in this , for I too am still learning to yield and surrender . So when I see you, we know that together we are letting him sweetly tear down all that we built and in its place he will make something beautiful of us .